KINDNESS AT HOME

Islam is a beautiful religion, full of wisdom and harmony. If this wonderful religion is followed properly then a typical Muslim would only be a great example to follow. The Prophet said: "The most perfect believer in faith is the one who is best in moral character..." [At-Tirmithi]

Spreading kindness at home:

'Aa'ishah said: "The Messenger of Allaah said: '"When Allaah, The Almighty,Wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.'" [Ahmad]

According to another report: "When Allaah loves the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them." [Ibn Abu Ad-Dunyaa] In other words, they start to be kind to one another.

This is one of the means of attaining happiness at home, for kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and with the children, and it brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet said: "Allaah loves kindness and rewards for it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else." [Muslim]

Helping the wife with the housework:

Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of them think that it will undermine their status and position if they help their wives with this work. The Messenger of Allaah however, used to "sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes." [Ahmad]

This is how 'Aa'ishah responded when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allaah used to do in his house; she described what she herself had seen. According to another report, she said: "He was like any other human being; he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself." [Ahmad]

She was also asked about what the Messenger of Allaah used to do in his house, and she said, "He used to serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go out to pray." [Al-Bukhaari]

If we Muslim men were to do likewise nowadays, we would achieve three things:

1. We would be following the example of the Prophet .

2. We would be helping our wives.

3. We would feel more humble and down to earth.

These narrations should act as a reminder to those men, who demand food instantly from their wives, when the pot is on the stove and the baby is screaming to be fed; they do not pick up the child or wait a little while for the food.

Being affectionate towards and joking with the members of the family:

Showing affection towards one's wife and children is one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home. Thus the Messenger of Allaah advised Jaabir to marry a virgin, saying,

"Why did you not marry a virgin, so you could play with her and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh and she could make you laugh?" [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

The Prophet also said: "Everything in which Allaah's name is not mentioned is idleness and play, except for four things: a man playing with his wife..." [An-Nasaa'ee]

The Prophet used to treat his wife 'Aa'ishah affectionately when performing Ghusl (ritual bath) with her, as she said: "The Messenger of Allaah and I used to perform Ghusl together from one vessel, and he would playfully pretend to take all the water so that I would say, 'Leave some for me, leave some for me.'" [Muslim]

The ways in which the Prophet showed affection towards young children are too famous to need mentioning. He often used to show his affection towards his grandchildren Hasan and Husayn. This is probably one of the reasons why the children used to rejoice when he came back from traveling; they would rush to welcome him, as reported in the following authentic narration: "Whenever he came back from a journey, the children of his household would be taken out to meet him." He used to hug them close to him, as 'Abdullaah Ibn Ja'far said: "Whenever the Prophet came back from a journey, we would be taken out to meet him (to the boundaries of Al-Madeenah). One day we met him, Hasan, Husayn and I. He carried one of us in front of him (on his animal), and another on his back, until we entered Al-Madeenah." [Muslim]

Compare this with the situation in some miserable homes where there is no joking or playing, affection or mercy among its members. Whoever thinks that kissing his children goes against the dignity of fatherhood should read the following narration reported from Abu Hurayrah who said:

"The Messenger of Allaah kissed Al-Hasan Ibn 'Ali, and Al-Aqra' Ibn Haabis At-Tameemi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' said: 'I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.' The Messenger of Allaah looked at him and said: 'The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'" [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]